For not having slide so far away to a place I would not return For childhood friends I will likely never speak to again For roofs and abandoned cars and warm stolen yoohoo For quarter waters and seventy five cent slices For knowing early enough we’d not be joining the chorus For older kids who taught us how to smoke, drink, dress and talk Lead by example with their best version of adulthood Whisper just loudly enough what it means to be a man or a woman It came too soon for all of us but not fully developed Common bonds and blessings of pain and suffering The types of escapes that make you wonder if anything is real The types of silence that explain everything A nervous system that saved many upon many occasion Substances that soothed and held back demons Music booming loudly and too close Hammering against soon to be damaged eardrums Play + record to catch each new track Rap and punk and heavy metal Such fresh heaven it was and still is Sounds and words are worlds we can visit Get lost in Better to be the occasional lost child Than an everyday scapegoat For the family who cared and were able to show it For those too who cared but were unable to let a kid know it For those who’s version of care was harm Abuse of power and dynamic and a hand at my throat For once I moved beyond victimhood and self pity A boundless heart was waiting A transmutation more than metamorphosis In the wake of past trauma lays empathy So forgiveness for all because it was the best they could do All those who themselves were hurting Stardust as I For Saturday morning cartoons and three bowls of cereal For money for pizza and a few VHS movies For teachers who let a smart kid slip past For teachers who wouldn’t let a smart ass kid slip by For guidance from the one adult in my life who cared enough Even though she didn’t have to Even though I tried my best to scare her away To be mean enough through mockery To prove I actually was that little POS I’d heard I was To prove how right I was about everyone and everything including myself That my birthright was shame and loneliness and eternal hell That some wrathful god did in fact exist Had seen when I naughty Knew I wasn't good enough And man was he pissed None comes to pass if not all No I exists without us Nothing matters if not we If we’re to have any we must accept every And what a gift this is This day This single, beautiful, sweet day Perfect as a nearly still lake Fish slumber in the reeds Crawdads rest in the muck The morning sun barely yet an idea Eternity reflects a ripple at a time